1. Just a week or two ago my dear old Uncle Bill, He went and kicked the bucket and he left me in his will, So I went around the road to see my Auntie Jane, She said your Uncle Bill has left you a watch and chain, So I put it on right across my derby kell, The sun was shining on it and it made me look a swell, I went out, strolling round about, A crowd of kiddies followed me and they began to shout, Any old iron, any old iron, Any any any old iron? You look neat, talk about a treat! You look so dapper from your napper to your feet. Dressed in style, brand-new tile, And your father's old green tie on. But I wouldn't give you tuppence for your old watch and chain, Old iron, old iron. 2. I won't forget the day I went to London on the spree, I saw the mayor of London there, that's who I went to see, He came along in a carriage and a pair, I shouted come on boys, all throw your hats up in the air, Just the the mayor, he began to smile, Pointed to my face and said "Lor Lummy, what a dial", Started Lord-a-mayoring, and then to my dismay, He pointed to my watch and chain and shouted to me "Hey" Any old iron . . . . 3. I shan't forget the day I married Miss Elisa Brown' The way the people laughed at me it made me feel a clown, I arrived in a carriage called a hack, When I suddenly discovered I'd my trousers front to back, So I walked down the aisle, dressed in style, The vicar took a look at me and then began to smile, The organ started playing, the bells began to ring, The people started laughing and the choir began to sing Any old iron . . . .