Dear Boss

Melody -

1. Dear Boss, I write this note
To tell you of my plight
And at the time of writing
I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue,
My face a deathly gray
And I hope you understand
Why Paddy's not at work today.

2. While working on the fourteenth floor,
Some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off
The top seemed quite a good idea
But the foreman wasn't very pleased,
He was an awful sod
He said I had to cart them down
The ladder in me hod.

3. Well clearing all those bricks by hand,
It seemed so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel
And secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job,
I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks
Is heavier than me.

4. So when I had untied the rope,
The barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope
I started up instead
I took off like a rocket
And to my dismay I found
That half way up I met
The bloody barrel coming down.
  5. Well the barrel broke my shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top
I banged the pulley with me head
I held on tight, though numb with shock
From this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its load
Fourteen floors below.

6. Now when those building bricks fell
From the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel
So I started down once more
I held on tightly to the rope
As I flew to the ground
And I landed on those building bricks
That were all scattered 'round.

7. Now as I lay there on the deck
I thought I'd passed the worst
But when the barrel reached the top,
That's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks came down on me,
And I didn't have a hope
And as I was losing conciousness,
I let go the bloody rope.

8. The barrel being heavier,
It started down once more
And landed right on top of me
As I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm,
And I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why
Paddy's not at work today.

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