Simple Simon met a pieman Going to the fair; Says Simple Simon to the pieman, "Let me taste your ware." Says the pieman to Simple Simon, "Show me first your penny." Says Simple Simon to the pieman, "Indeed I have not any." He went to catch a dickey bird, And thought he could not fail, Because he'd got a little salt, To put upon his tail. He went to take a bird's nest, Was built upon a bough; The branch gave way and Simon fell Into a dirty slough. He went to shoot a wild duck, But wild duck flew away; Say Simon, I can't hit him, Because he will not stay." Simple Simon went a-fishing, For to catch a whale; All the water he had got Was in his mother's pail. Simple Simon went a-hunting, For to catch a hare; He rode an ass about the streets, But couldn't find one there.

He went for to eat honey, Out of the mustard pot; He bit his tongue until he cried, That was all the good he got. He went to ride a spotted cow That had a little calf; She threw him down upon the ground, Which made the people laugh. Once Simon made a great snowball, And brought it in to roast; He laid it down before the fire, And soon the ball was lost. He went to slide upon the ice Before the ice would bear; Then he plunged in above his knees, Which made poor Simon stare. He washed himself with blacking ball, Because he had no soap; Then said unto his mother, "I'm a beauty now, I hope." Simple Simon went to look If plums grew on a thistle; He pricked his fingers very much, Which made poor Simon whistle. He went for water in a sieve, But soon it all ran through. And now poor Simple Simon Bids you all adieu.

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