Simple Simon

Melody -

Simple Simon met a pieman
Going to the fair;
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
"Let me taste your ware."

Says the pieman to Simple Simon,
"Show me first your penny."
Says Simple Simon to the pieman,
"Indeed I have not any."

He went to catch a dickey bird,
And thought he could not fail,
Because he'd got a little salt,
To put upon his tail.

He went to take a bird's nest,
Was built upon a bough;
The branch gave way and Simon fell
Into a dirty slough.

He went to shoot a wild duck,
But wild duck flew away;
Say Simon, I can't hit him,
Because he will not stay."

Simple Simon went a-fishing,
For to catch a whale;
All the water he had got
Was in his mother's pail.

Simple Simon went a-hunting,
For to catch a hare;
He rode an ass about the streets,
But couldn't find one there.
  He went for to eat honey,
Out of the mustard pot;
He bit his tongue until he cried,
That was all the good he got.

He went to ride a spotted cow
That had a little calf;
She threw him down upon the ground,
Which made the people laugh.

Once Simon made a great snowball,
And brought it in to roast;
He laid it down before the fire,
And soon the ball was lost.

He went to slide upon the ice
Before the ice would bear;
Then he plunged in above his knees,
Which made poor Simon stare.

He washed himself with blacking ball,
Because he had no soap;
Then said unto his mother,
"I'm a beauty now, I hope."

Simple Simon went to look
If plums grew on a thistle;
He pricked his fingers very much,
Which made poor Simon whistle.

He went for water in a sieve,
But soon it all ran through.
And now poor Simple Simon
Bids you all adieu.

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