1. A Scotsman clad in kilt Left a bar one evening fair And one could tell by how he walked He'd drunk more than his share He stumbled on until He could no longer keep his feet Then staggered off into the grass To sleep beside the street. Refrain: A ring-di-diddle-e-di do, A-ring-di-diddle-i-day He staggered off into the grass To sleep beside the street. 2. A pair of young and lovely girls Just happened to come by And one said to the other, With a twinkle in her eye: "You see yon sleeping Scotsman, So strong and handsome built.. I wonder if it's true What they don't wear beneath the kilt?" 3. They crept upon the sleeping Scotsman, Quiet as could be, And lifted up his kilt above the waist, So they could see... And there, behold, for them to view, Beneath his Scottish skirt T'was nothing but What God has graced him with upon his birth!

4. They marveled for a moment, Then one said: "We'd best be gone. But let's leave a present for our friend Before we move along!" So as a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon, Tied into a bow, Around the Bonnie Star The Scottish kilt did lift and show! 5. The Scotsman woke to Nature's Call, And stumbled towards a tree Behind the bush, he lifts his kilt, And gawks at what he sees! Then, in a startled voice he says To what's before his eyes: "I ken na' whaur y'been, m'lad, But I see y'won First Prize!" 6. Our Scottish friend, still dressed in kilt, Continued up the street He hadn't gone ten yards or more, When a lass he chanced to meet. She said: "I've heard what's underneath there, Tell me, is it so?" He said: "Just slip your hand up, lass, If y'really want to know!" 7. So she slipped her hand right up his kilt, And much to her surprise, The Scotsman smiled, And a very strange look came into his eyes, She said: "Why, sir, that's gruesome!" And then she heard him roar: "If you stick yer hand up once again, You'll find it grew some more!"

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