The Sleeping Scotsman

Melody -

Rich Bailey (final 2 verses only)

1. A Scotsman clad in kilt
Left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked
He'd drunk more than his share
He stumbled on until
He could no longer keep his feet
Then staggered off into the grass
To sleep beside the street.


A ring-di-diddle-e-di do,
He staggered off into the grass
To sleep beside the street.

2. A pair of young and lovely girls
Just happened to come by
And one said to the other,
With a twinkle in her eye:
"You see yon sleeping Scotsman,
So strong and handsome built..
I wonder if it's true
What they don't wear beneath the kilt?"

3. They crept upon the sleeping Scotsman,
Quiet as could be,
And lifted up his kilt above the waist,
So they could see...
And there, behold, for them to view,
Beneath his Scottish skirt
T'was nothing but
What God has graced him with upon his birth!
  4. They marveled for a moment,
Then one said: "We'd best be gone.
But let's leave a present for our friend
Before we move along!"
So as a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon,
Tied into a bow,
Around the Bonnie Star
The Scottish kilt did lift and show!

5. The Scotsman woke to Nature's Call,
And stumbled towards a tree
Behind the bush, he lifts his kilt,
And gawks at what he sees!
Then, in a startled voice he says
To what's before his eyes:
"I ken na' whaur y'been, m'lad,
But I see y'won First Prize!"

6. Our Scottish friend, still dressed in kilt,
Continued up the street
He hadn't gone ten yards or more,
When a lass he chanced to meet.
She said: "I've heard what's underneath there,
Tell me, is it so?"
He said: "Just slip your hand up, lass,
If y'really want to know!"

7. So she slipped her hand right up his kilt,
And much to her surprise,
The Scotsman smiled,
And a very strange look came into his eyes,
She said: "Why, sir, that's gruesome!"
And then she heard him roar:
"If you stick yer hand up once again,
You'll find it grew some more!"

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