For years and years I've been a lonely Spinster on the shelf, I'm right fed up with spending all Me wages on meself. I'm all prepared for married life - Its secrets I've been taught, And here's some little odds and ends I've been and gorn and bought. One bridal gown - one eiderdown, I've been saving 'em up Since eighteen ninety-four, Got me ribbons and me bows And me these and thems and those All packed up in my little bottom drawer. One baby's cot - one flower pot Where I've planted a rambling Rose bush for the door; Got a motto for the wall - It says 'Heaven 'elp us all' - All packed up in my little bottom drawer. Got a pianer Under the staircase, And I'm teaching meself to play The 'Maiden's Prayer'. Now I'm waiting for love To open up the door. Got me Aristotle's works And a case of eggs from Pearks, All packed up in my little bottom drawer.

I've answered ev'ry advert In the Matrimonial Times, I've bought me own confetti And a set of wedding chimes. At night I count me treasures, Just to see they haven't strayed; I'm very patriotic, Ev'ry one is British made. One cheffoner - one keg o' beer And some orange and purple Lino for the floor. Got a new pyjama set Made of bright red flannelette, All packed up in my little bottom drawer. One Persian rug - one china jug And some beautiful silver ware From Woolworth's store, With a book by Doctor Fife, 'How to be a perfect wife', All packed up in my little bottom drawer. We'll have a bathroom, Oh! what a bathroom, With a wonderful bath Where we can keep the coals. Horse-shoe for luck - pail for the muck, And a President Hoover's cleaner for the floor. If the plans go all to pot I can sell the bloomin' lot - All packed up in my little bottom drawer.

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